Don Kikijote Quests for Truth and Service
I’ve recently been asked by several different friends in varied fields about advice on grad school. Invariably it comes down to two concepts: fly just under the radar, and always have an ace in the hole. The first is essentially detachment: don’t become involved in department politics, don’t publicize your personal life, keep your own counsel, perform well consistently so that people connect you with your work, work hard, and don’t give people any reason to think anything but positive things about you. The second means to always have a contingency plan for when things go pear-shaped. If all heck breaks loose, you should always have something to fall back on. One friend plans to pick up and move to Berlin; another, to go back to a previous job; a third, to have a kid and raise a family; a fourth, to rely on a three-month salary cushion saved up. But here’s the thing about grad school and the future, as articulated by Brian Andreas at Storypeople:
This is the way most graduate schools and advisors treat you if they catch even a whiff that you might be interested in pursuing a non-traditional path after your Ph.D. While department gossip (which you stay out of!) includes stories of this happening, it rarely happens to people you know. Unfortunately, it happened to a woman who started together with me five years ago, which just reinforces the two pieces of advice above.
This is the academic equivalent of “being declared persona non grata” or “PNGed,” like what happened to Canadian diplomat Nuala Lawlor who was posted to Sudan and then expelled by that country’s government. You are kicked out for lame, vague reasons and not allowed back, effectively negating all the work you’ve done so far. This is another reason why grad students should always 1)fly just under the radar and 2)always have an ace in the hole. Now, it’s no secret here at Yogademia that I’m a little disillusioned with academia. But the rest of the world does not know that I am actively (but quietly!) exploring my vision of other ways to use my knowledge and training after I get my degree.
Lately, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about Truth and Service. The vision I have for my life includes both of these concepts: the legacy I want to leave to the world is very heavily service-oriented, and it has to be something that I feel is True (With A Capital T). Someone recently used the word “questing” to describe this process of seeking: forward motion towards something unseen yet crucial to the world. I’ve started to feel like Don Quijote: the chivalry which he/Cervantes felt was lost in his time is my truth and service in the post-9/11 world, and both of us are out seeking adventure on the way to something greater. There is no set outcome, there is no expectation, there is nothing except moving forward in the world towards something that is, admittedly, idealized, but still bigger than any of us. This is not tilting at windmills: I refuse to believe that living a life of Truth and Service is futile. And this is not to say that an academic life cannot represent Truth and Service. But we each have to decide on our own visions for our lives, and specify what that vision entails.
It’s just that, in grad school, you probably don’t want anyone to know about your vision until the absolute last minute – preferably when you have your degree in hand. But if you work on living your vision every day in every way you can – even if you feel like what you’re currently doing is neither True nor of Service to anyone – every day you move a little further along on your quest. Just be sure to quest quietly.
